i go to seek a Great Perhaps

chrisyoungblood:

I recently invited everyone to my formspring, a site that let’s you ask people questions anonymously and get their answers if they choose to give one. For the most part it has been super encouraging to hear from people and have them curious about my role with my work, how I got started, and my favorite topic - my faith. Any chance I get to write about turning the focus that’s on me to my creator makes me feel a little closer to my Father, acknowledging that without Him, this wouldn’t be the life I have.

With all that said, a question that really bugged me popped up. And then my reaction bugged me. And then my mind really started going. Like when you’re having a conversation on a first date, but the tone is kind of awkward and you’re not really sure what to say, and then finally you connect on something that changes everything and you get excited. Your back isn’t against the chair anymore. Your eyes are a little more optimistic of what could be, and then you find your rhythm.

I was asked, “Why do you only become good friends with pretty people?” My immediate reaction was to read it out to my new roommate, Chad, and then joke about a response in his humble honor. And then there was part of me that got defensive. Who is this person? Why did I amuse this? In the midst of all these other questions that are uplifting and allowing me to pour my heart for God out, why is this here?

Aside from feeling slightly judge, you’re putting surface value on what makes a person “pretty”. Over the past six months all I’ve desired to do was grow in my relationship with God and really search out the ways the bible tells me to live, especially when it comes to community. One thing I know more than I ever have is that I am called to love on anyone unconditionally, no matter what value you want to put on their appearance. Your thought of “good friend” is completely on you. What you can perceive as me being super close with someone, might just be what you perceive, and when it comes to living our lives out in day-to-day life, it’s almost non-existent.

My nights are spent alone. Honestly. Other than having friends in town recently that I love without question, there’s one person who I love living my day-to-day life with and she is a very beautiful soul, inside and out. And our closeness is because we connect. That’s it. I can talk with her and she’s (slowly) learning she can talk to me. She’ll tell me when I’m being an idiot, which is what I need in life because I’m an idiot most of the time. And the greatest thing I take to her on is her quick wit. Our banter is endless sometimes. I love it. And if every bit of her heart and brain was in another person that you deem “unattractive” then my love for her wouldn’t be any different.

If you walked into my office in Cocoa, I would gladly introduce you to everyone there. All 11 staff: 5 great looking guys, 6 flawless girls. 6 gorgeous interns. And 1 beautiful intern RA. And that’s all surface level judging which I feel like you would focus on most. I see these people for the kind hearts they have in them that shine more than anything. They are my community. They are my home. And if, at the end of the day, I find myself having dinner with my closest friend there, then it would be for nothing more than I genuinely love our words floating in a room together. No matter how pretty she is.

you are a wonderful person.